God speaks to church, Congregation shuts God up

Yesterday during church service at the Madison Heights Church of God in Daytona Beach, FL., a man stood up before the congregation and proclaimed his divinity in front of all…. then things got weird:

A local newspaper reported that the 39-year-old man walked up to the pulpit at the Madison Heights Church of God and screamed that he was God, and then threatened the pastor.

Well… what the fuck did that pastor do to piss God off so much that he came down from his throne in the clouds, possess this poor man in the congregation and say ‘Hey you… FUCK. YOU.

Apparently the congregation wasn’t going have any of God’s drunken shitty attitude…

Church members grabbed the man and restrained him until police arrived. Police said the man is mentally ill. The pastor refused to press charges, but police took the man to the hospital, where he was being kept in protective custody.

So now being an emissary for the Lord is a mental illness. Don’t you miss the times when you could be possessed by Jesus / God / Holy Spirit and people actually fucking believed you. Good thing that the Pastor didn’t press charges on God. I hear he has an in with like all the fucking judges now.

Currently God is on medical leave as he is trapped by Sam and Dean in the mental hospital with those angel symbols.

In all seriousness though, I’m glad nobody was hurt and that they didn’t just fucking pray for the man but they got him help.

( h/t wftv.com )


3 thoughts on “God speaks to church, Congregation shuts God up

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