Business becomes sentient, disagrees with equality

An absolutely amazing thing happened on 6 July 2015. A business actually became sentient and then immediately disagreed with equality and admitted to having a personality disorder. Check this out:

This newspaper has always believed that marriage is between one man and one woman. We are still of that opinion, and we will continue to stand by that opinion moving forward.

I mean it’s quite clear to me that the newspaper business got so pissed that it broke rule #1 of anthropomorphized objects in reality and that is absolutely no outting yourself. I mean the audacity of this motherfucker. Compromizing all other businesses in the area. Now they all have to reveal themselves and come out as supportive of the LGBT community or not.

The second sentence in his/her statement is in the plural sense meaning there is more than one entity living inside this business. My guess is that it’s that split personality thing or perhaps a Venom type situation.

But seriously now the rest of the post is what I have qualms with:

However, we are a nation of laws. On June 26, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriages shall be legal in all 50 states. Accordingly, this newspaper will follow the law of the land, and we will be publishing same-sex engagements and same-sex marriage announcements.

We know that this will be disappointing to some of our readers. We empathize with their thoughts on this controversial matter and hope through time they will support our decision and understand that we must follow the law of the land.

This part serves a couple of purposes. It shows its more conservative readers that they are being “forced” to print the announcements and that they are complying but not happy about it. They apologize to that conservative base because they are more important than the LGBT members of the community.

Finally the “Law of the Land” is that sexual orientation doesn’t restrict who gets to get married. It doesn’t require that newspapers print announcements. Just like newspapers can deny printing certain ads in their papers they could deny the announcement. People do pay for the service and it is a big dick thing to do but you wouldn’t be brought up on charges because you didn’t print something that isn’t approved to be in your paper. The more important issue is that serving LGBT individuals isn’t the law of the land… yet.

Be bigoted all you want.

Just keep in mind when you are bigoted, expect people to talk shit about you.

( h/t Friendly Atheist )

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